My Partner | U L T R A G S, the story teller

Finding a Partner
I could not find a girl for myself, so it had to be an arranged marriage. The process began in 2001, after i came back from my first US trip. Did a photoshoot to impress the prospective bride. My mother shared details along with horoscope with a match maker and enquires started. I was not keen on getting married. Probably not ready or due to the typical fear of commitment. Within two months, met a total of three prospective brides. The first two clearly rejected! I told them my salary without them asking and i guess a probable reason for rejection. The third barged in with family and caught me off guarded. I gave a go ahead for this proposal. That night i could not sleep, probably my instincts were against my decision. Next day, I expressed my discomfort with my mother. Only then i realized, they were due to share the horoscope and complete the match making! Bingo, i took this opportunity to collect the horoscope and meet the family and revisit my decision. It was a bit weird, at first the parents said they have never got her horoscope written and later said they may have misplaced. They started searching for it and in the meanwhile asked me to meet her daughter at her clinic. I saw her practicing as general physician where as she was a physiotherapist. My discomfort grew when her father started convincing why i should get married to his daughter. With a lot of hesitation, they gave me a copy of her horoscope. By then i had already decided to revert my decision. Told my mother inform the parents that the horoscope did not match (didn’t even try to match). I felt a relieved by saying a “NO”. I got worked up with this episode and asked my mother to stop the process until further notice. We had fights on this topic several days. One weekend, my mother asked me to stay at home without citing the reason. It was a prospective bride visiting us! I had a show down with my mother that day. I succumb to her emotional pressure and agreed to meet the girl with an advance decision of a “NO”. Next day, an auto arrives and a girl steps out of the auto and looks up to validate the house address. Coincidentally, she looked at me and smiled. I completely forgot whatever i said to my mother and gave back a smile in return. I had to begin the selling process with a strategy to win this deal :-). Past lessons came in handy here and did not disclose my salary until asked. Thankfully she did not ask either. I had already made up my mind to marry this girl. But did not reveal to anyone. In the match making process (the same day), my mama said “32 gunas of 36 matches! What do you say? I feel she is a good girl and you must consider marrying her.” The name of this girl was Revathi! I found my partner 🙂.

The Courtship
We got engaged in a Krishna temple with a small gathering on 8th Sept, 2002. It was in this premises that i lived for two years during my engineering days (a free hostel). This made this event more exciting! I had put one condition that there should be at least one year gap between the engagement and the wedding. A long courtship that all elders opposed. But, after negotiations we settled for about 8 months. Revathi lived in Mysore and that meant frequent travel! I planned at least one visit a month to see her and would call her from pay phones every alternate days and speak for sometime. My father-in-law was equally excited to talk to me on my every visit. He was a good story teller himself. After the first visit, i decided to plan a strategy to manage my father-in-law. For the next subsequent visits, i would take someone along with me to entertain my father-in-law and serve as security deposit for taking his daughter away for sometime. Younger brothers come in pretty handy in these situations :-). My brothers may have spent more time with my father-in-law than they did with their father-in-law and with time they may have become thickest of friends. In the meanwhile, Revathi would take me around Mysore on her Kinetic Honda for movies, water falls, parks, gardens or just keep driving. For once i drove my two wheeler to Mysore. romance, laughter, entertainment and fun; the only goal! Revathi too visited once for saree and other purchases. And yes, i did finally celebrate my first Valentine’s day! It is easy to make Revathi laugh. And, it easy to make her happy with simple gifts or just a any joke! Extreme rare quality of a partner!

The Partnership
In my view, the key element for a life partnership is understanding, open, honest, loyal and truthful. All these are in built characteristics of my wife Revathi. After marriage she got new responsibilities! It must be hard for a women in India to adapt to new environment leaving behind the freedom they had with their parents around and that too an arranged marriage! A life with a complete stranger! Probably, only an Indian women can take that risk! And, few emerge with flying colors. Revathi is surely amongst the strongest. She learned cooking after marriage and would try her best to keep trying new recipe to make me happy. After a year of marriage, i got a job in Mumbai. That was the real honeymoon for us. Just the two of us in a new place! For about 2 year we lived the carefree life understanding each other. We had a deal to back to our hometown after a while. We made new friends and enjoyed the city of Mumbai. She would serve as tour guide to my friends and relatives who visited us in Mumbai. Her ability to manage a situation has always been immense. He smile would win over any new relationship. Then came our daughters in our life. From a relatively lower responsibility to a much higher responsibilities! The tougher test begins in this phase; attention to children along side managing other home responsibilities. I can’t remember even a single instance of her demand for anything in particular. Adjustments came to her naturally as if it was a part of her life. She underwent about six surgeries. In just four days post surgery, she would be in the kitchen. I consider it as highest order of commitment. Her love for the children and husband never decreased with time. She took care of feeding them, playing with them, teaching morals of life in form of stories and helping them in their studies. She seldom had time for self! Her priority has always been her family! Always! As i see around, i consider myself extremely lucky to have had her as my life partner. In eighteen years she never fell sick and probably she thought, she can’t afford to. At home it’s only laughter and nothing else. She is best friend to our daughters. Spends super quality time with them. Eighteen years have gone by but feel as if we got married yesterday!