In my usual routine, yesterday evening I was performing Sandhyavandanam (prayer). There was a subtle breeze. And sometimes, the tender breeze gives a feeling of presence of someone around me. The breeze brings a smile and joy. It was Varda mama, my maternal uncle who introduced and forced me into doing Sandhyavandanam. I would not like doing it and would always find an excuse to skip. Upon asking “why you force me into it”, he said “I may sound like a villain to you today, but I know this is good for you”. I did not understand it then! About a decade ago, I realized what he meant and why he forced me into it. What he taught me helps me with an ability to manage difficult situations. The maternal connect is always special. In many ways, Varda mama has had a great influence on my personality and in my life. He is not amongst us today but continues to guide me in my difficult times.
I would like to recall some of my moments with Varda Mama.
I suffered right shoulder dislocation while playing an inter college volley ball tournament. This was during my second year of engineering. I was advised thirty days of sling support for faster recovery. On the 30th day, my brother and I indulged in a street fight near my Mama’s house. Varda mama was taking vedic lessons to his students at that moment. He heard the noise, stopped his classes and literally joined us to chase the boys 😊. He assumed that we were on the right side (which we were). While our opponents were outnumbered, we three managed to chase them away in a filmy style 😊. It was so sweet of my mama to say this at the bad boys “dare not touch my nephews”, a great example of unconditional love and support.
In early years, we lived in Bihar as our parents were working in a public sector establishment. It was Varda mama’s house we spent our vacation almost every year. During our extreme difficult times, he provided us with shelter, food and moral support. My mami too supported him in doing so! In today’s world, this is uncommon. I doubt if I would stand for someone like he did!
One may call it a mid-life crisis or something else, in 2008-2009, I was suffering anxiety disorders and was struggling to bring back things in an order. I went up to him and sought his help. He recommended meditation and taught me a simple way of doing it. I believed and followed what he said. That helped me not only to overcome this disorder but also helped me discovering my own secret method in dealing with it.
His daily evening routine was a walk to a local market to buy vegetables, flowers, fruits and sometimes groceries. Many days he would ask me to accompany him. He would talk about current affairs, philosophy and many other topics. Seldom he discussed people! I have accompanied him to the city market for bulk purchases on many occasions. His daily routine was fixed and would plan day work including his law practice around his routine. Unlike we do, plan our daily routine around the work timings; giving significant importance to work timings over the personal wellbeing routine.
To many he may have sounded insensitive. Probably because he was upfront and straight. However, I found him extremely sensitive in his words and actions. He knew about some of my typical college addictions, but never confronted unlike many elders do. Occasionally, he would call me by names like “Beedi Saabi”. His wisdom knew how to handle an adult like me! Utmost respect mama for your wisdom!
I don’t recall a single instance when he ever asked me to focus on study. Neither did he lectured on “how to save the world”. The key aspects of his focus would always be timely daily routine in other words “discipline”.
He led a simple life for self. Outside his house, other than his courtroom attire, he would be mostly wearing white cotton dhoti with kurta or a shirt. At home, it was mostly a cotton dhoti and a towel or shalya. He was highly educated; Master in Science (Mathematics), Master of Arts (Sanskrit), Bachelor at Law, Diploma in Tax Laws. He was a renowned civil lawyer in the High Court of Karnataka. He authored several books in his lifetime, founded and managed several meaningful institutions, organized several pilgrimages for elderly people and travelled along with them as guide, taught Yajur Veda for over four decades. So much in one life! He practiced what he believed in! He was a guru to many! His word was final, always!
There a satisfaction in leading a simple lifestyle, a simple trick to attain “freedom”. I like leading a simple lifestyle and could probably be inspired by him subconsciously, thank you Varda mama.
Some of my key daily routine and few good habits that has helped me lead a happy life comes straight from you Varda mama. You continue to guide me and appear to be by my side, always!
Thank you Varda mama.
Author: Raghuraman Kadambi